Celebrating motherhood with a dash of culture
Dear Readers,
Parenting may feel hard with this generation’s expectations. Guest writer Marzia Chowdhury explores some things she experienced along her journey of becoming a mother. Also, a South Asian organization is looking for people to join the cause of documenting oral histories.
Sincerely,
Nargis Rahman
Saa Nasta Newsletter
In My Ammu Era: Bringing Home Baby Owais
By Guest Contributor Marzia Chowdhury
In February 2023 my son Owais was born and my life changed forever. I had a lovely pregnancy, but a traumatic labor and delivery and so the early moments of his birth are a bit hazy to me.
Labor was nothing like I imagined. I sought help from a doula in Columbus who would have virtual sessions with me about the birthing process. We talked about everything from how I should set up my birthing room to my liking to what kind of medication would be offered to me while in labor. She was a sweet lady and gave me even more confidence to go into labor armed with all the information.
For the duration of my pregnancy, I watched endless TikTok videos on how to breathe through labor, squeeze a comb when feeling labor pains, water births and so much more. If there was anything about labor that I needed to know - I knew it. Nothing would actually prepare me for actual labor though. When those contractions started everything I learned went out the window.
After his birth, the first thing I remember is my husband balling his eyes out and me asking, “Is he ok?” He was 6 lbs 10 oz and perfect. He is pretty much identical to my husband, with expressive and observant eyes. Merely hours after he was born, Owais looked around the room at all the lights and people around him. Slowly but surely, he took in the world around him.
By the time I gave labor, I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours. I was hungry! I was a fall risk due to my postpartum preeclampsia. My husband was advised not to leave me alone. I DoorDashed three rolls of sushi and some edamame. My husband took charge. He perfected the swaddle, learned how to change a diaper, and fawned over our son.
Our friends showed up with balloons and cake. One of them took my mom back to their place so she could eat and rest. She had been with me at the hospital the whole time. Those are the people who I will always remember. the first people my son met were not family by blood, but by choice.
We turned our living room into a makeshift bedroom with a bassinet ready for Owais’s arrival. That first night I don’t think any of us slept, but in the thick of new parenthood, we didn’t care. I would do the night feedings. Owais would wake up every three hours like clockwork. Then he’d take about an hour to go back to sleep.
For the first few months, we just watched him, intently. Every yawn. A wry smile. He smiled a lot in his sleep. He would just lay wherever we put him. Now you can’t get him to sit still in one place!
My mom had come to town a month prior to his arrival to help us prepare for his birth. She was truly a Godsent. She helped with all of our meals and encouraged me through the sleepless nights.
After he was born, one night Owais pooped and my husband was asleep. At this point I hadn’t changed a diaper just yet so I called my mom upstairs and she came running down and talked me through the process. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. Those days spent with my mom I was on edge. Having my mom with me gave me strength and reassurance that everything would be okay. Those early days were rough at the time, but I got through them.
Owais had his aqiqah in Bangladesh at his dad’s ancestral home. Hundreds of people were in attendance. My husband is the eldest son in his family and Owais is his first-born son. That in Bangladeshi culture bestowed a huge honor on him. He is the first of a new generation - carrying on their family name.
Here in the States, my family sent him gifts like clothes and toys. His Nanu, my mom sent something every day! My aunts, cousins, and friends called routinely to check in and to meet Owais via Facetime. He was too little at the time to remember these early moments, however, it’s something I will remember for a long time.
My friend, Tinni, a mother of three, gave him his first bath. My uncle and his family traveled to see Owais and shaved his head for the first time. The women in our community started a meal train and my husband and I didn’t worry about what we’d eat for the first two months. The love was pouring in from everywhere and we were so grateful.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but really it only takes a few good people.
Motherhood was nothing like I had imagined it. Although I had a rocky beginning, little did I know I was only getting started on this beautiful lifelong journey.
Marzia Chowdhury is an account manager for a staffing company. She’s also a mom to Baby Owais. She will be sharing parenting stories for the Saa Nasta Newsletter.
South Asian American Digital Archive seeks 2024 fellows
The South Asian American Digital Archive (SAADA) is looking for three fellows for a six-month fellowship in 2024. Fellows will get a stipend to document 10 oral histories of South Asians in the U.S. Along with an in-person orientation, fellows will have bi-weekly video calls, and create a community-based advisory group. Applications are due by October 1st. Learn more here.
Note: The author of the Saa Nasta Newsletter, Nargis Rahman, participated in the SAADA archival fellowship in 2020-2021, documenting 10 stories of Bangladeshi women entrepreneurs in Metro Detroit.
Deem Bhuna: Bangladeshi egg curry recipe
Who doesn’t love throwing a quick dinner together requiring ingredients you might already have at home? Deem bhuna, or egg curry is a simple Bangladeshi recipe to make when you want to eat something different but also don’t want to do a lot of work.